Diario di una quarantenne

Diario personale

storia non mia

8/01/2021

Storia non mia

Storia non mia ma quando mi è stata raccontata mi ha fatto molto riflettere .

Il discorso era lungo ma cio’ da cui poi ho iniziato ad avere un nodo allo stomaco è stata questa frase

” Quando ti avevo non ti ho voluta ed ora ne pago le conseguenze, quelli erano tempi strani e situazioni strane…”

Detta cosi forse all’inizo puo’ sembrare una frase fatta , magari una di quelle scontate ma la persona che lo ha detto bhe dalla sua bocca non sono mai uscite parole cosi.

Ho sempre pensato che spesso noi vogliamo qualcosa o qualcuno che magari in quel momento non ci vuole , azioni , pensieri sentimenti , insomma il cosi detto karma.

Ma la consapevolezza di pagarne le conseguenze e soprattutto di ammetterle cosi con un rammarico forte a quello non ci avevo mai dato peso.

pensiamo sempre al ” se fosse andata diversamente” ,

ebbene si lo pensiamo ma non sempre lo ammettiamo , a noi stessi e poi  dirlo è veramente

un atto coraggioso.

Ma cio’ che mi turba da un po’ di giorni è

se veramente l’amore fosse cosi?

Un incrocio di casualita’ non sempre fortunate , due si amano , poi si allontano

non smettono ma vanno avanti e poi?

Rimane sempre quell’alone di tristezza racchiuso in ricordi

che ogni volta che riaffiorano ti fanno letteralmente cadere dalla sedia!

E’ sempre cosi difficile trovarsi , unirsi , legarsi e continuare?

Ci sono amori che vanno male , amori che sono un disastro quelli mai nati e poi come in questo caso quelli

che non muoiono mai, rimango sospesi

aspettando un nuovo giro della vita

che magari li riporti ad incontrarsi , amarsi nuovamente e poi perdersi.

“Se con lui va male sappi che puoi sempre chiamarmi e dirmi sto facendo la valigia io

ti verro’ incontro….”

Chi sa’ se è vero se potra’ mai essere cosi , magari accadra’ ma non sara’ il momento giusto per lui e si ritroveranno

di nuovo sospesi in attesa del prossimo giro.

Chi sa’ se sara’ cosi oppure no….

sei un guaio

 

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