Diario di una quarantenne

 Il silenzio

non ho voglia di parlare

Non ho voglia di parlare

Non ho voglia di parlare , di dirti quanto mi manchi

come la mia poesia preferita che non leggo da tempo.

Come quell’abbraccio che ho impresso nella mia mente ,

non ho voglia di dirti che anche se te ne sei andato sei rimasto nei miei pensieri .

Come quelle parole mai dette ma lasciate silenti.

Ti ho mandato via , o tu hai deciso di allontanarti , ma ora poco importa

non ho voglia di parlare

di raccontarmi di dirti che ti penso ,

se che non mi ascolterai e so che io non mi ascoltero’.

Come quella canzone che hai scritto che ormai non ascolto piu’ ,

come quello sguardo che non vedro’ piu’

come un sorriso che ho dimenticato di avere.

Ci siamo allontanati?

O semplicemente odiati ?

Forse io ho odiato di piu’ e tu tu eri preso dall’indifferenza di giorni scivolati tra le mani ,

di silenzi assordanti e di sogni infranti

come quando cadi dall’altalena scivoli inconsapevolmente senza sapere come

senza renderti conto ti ritrovi a terra

basito quasi stupito.

Poi che fai risali o rimani raggomitolato sul pavimento?

Io sono rimasta qui a pensarti ogni tanto a sentire il rumore assordante della tua risata

che forse cambiera’ nome ma che per il momento non mi va di ricordare.

Non ho voglia di parlare e

di dirti che le parole ormai non bastano

perche’ i ricordi sono piu’ forti di ogni parola…

ho imparato a volare




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