Diario di una quarantenne

Te ne vai al mare….


( giorno 650 dal tuo ritorno)


Amarena , la canzone che passa in radio questa notte in cui io guido , verso il mare

piu’ o meno la canzone fa cosi

” te ne vai al mare , poi mi mangi il cuore …

non è sangue ma ripieno d’amarena, notte di luna piena…”

Siamo in auto dormono tutti io sto guidando , come sempre preferisco guidare e viaggiare di notte , abbiamo deciso di fare questo week and tutti insieme , per poterci divertire .

Sulla strada che va verso il mare li guardo dormire , tutti tranquilli , sereni.

Hanno appena finito di prendermi in giro per i miei capelli ricci , strano vero?

Dopo anni ho iniziato ad amarli anche io , come dico sempre anche loro si sono ribellati,

anche se devo dire il vero mi piacciono poi mi portano tanto lavoro , si vede che ogni ricci è un capriccio piace ai social ed ai fotografi.

Dormono mentre io guido nel buio di quest’autostrada , vedo i tuoi occhi puntati su di me dallo specchietto retrovisore, Amir.

Lo so cosa stai pensando e ci penso anche io.


la notte dovrebbe portare consiglio invece a me porta solo pensieri ed insonnia,

vorrei scrivergli ma non lo faro’ e tu lo sai bene ,

spero ancora che lui mi scriva ma so che non lo fara’ non ora almeno .

Amir perche?

Perche’ è sempre cosi difficile per la ragazza di passaggio , non pensare , superare tutto con difficolta’,

sono passate settimane eppure io ci sto ancora male ,ho smesso di piangere ma ci penso

non riesco a non farlo.

Lo so cosa stai pensando , cosa devo fare?

Nulla non faro’ altro che andare avanti come faccio ora in questa strada , guardo le luci delle auto che passano mi accecano ma poi passano , cosi è la mia vita

tutti di passaggio e nessuno rimane.

Avrei voluto solo essere un suo ricordo , rimanere indelebile tra i suoi ricordi , ma , ma…

non penso che lui neanche si ricordi di me , o almeno si ricordera’ di me come quella che gli ha vomitato solo veleno ,

quando le porte erano chiuse , i pensieri erano spenti ed i ricordi affievoliti

tutto qui

sono come l’autostrada .

Tutti passano nessuno si ferma,

ma non importa ora non voglio nulla , non cerco nulla anzi una cosa la sto cercando

il mio posto nel mondo

forse lo sto trovando ma la strada è ancora lunga che dici vuoi percorrerla con me?

Ti avvicini alla mia guancia , mi sposti i ricci ormai ribelli

mi baci la guancia e sento il tuo profumo leggero

che mi dona serenita’ .

“Questo è quello che per il momento faremo tesoro ti sento sussurrare al mio orecchio ….”

Intanto io guido tutta la notte sveglia tra mille pensieri e questa canzone che  passa alla radio





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