Diario di una quarantenne in quarantena

Le foto

i bigodini

( giorno 250 dal tuo ritorno)

I bigodini

I bigodini , dio che fastidio che mi danno , mentre cerco di grattarmi la testa con l’acconciatura che mi hanno appena fatto ,

tu mi guardi e ridi , mentre goffamente cerco di sistemarmi , non rovinarmi trucco e parrucco , ma questi cosi danno un fastidio immane penso.

Dal fondo della stanza si sente urlare il fotografo ” hey non rovinarti l’impalcatura che tra 5 minuti iniziamo , rimani sistemata!!n Non fare come al tuo solito”

Oggi sei voluto venire con me e ti sento ridacchiare per ogni mio sbuffo , ogni mio gesto goffo , ogni mia occhiataccia che ti rivolgo.

Facciamo le foto , sfodero il mio sorriso migliore , le smorfie e cosi dette posate, poi tutto finisce le luci si spengono e tu mi segui nella stanza dove mi cambio.

Sento il tuo pensiero , scorrere , sei brava sai fingere potresti fare l’attrice, ma io senza neanche voltarmi

mentre sfilo questi dannati bigodini , penso ho imparato negli anni a fingere bene ,

ad indossare una maschera anzi indossare il mio sorriso migliore anche quando dentro sono un cumulo di macerie.

Non voglio che gli altri mi vedano triste , sola e pensino , la bella ragazza sorridente che poi la sera rimane sola , poverina!

Ho imparato che alle persone piace vedermi sempre sorridente , disponibile , quella che ascolta tutti ma poi finisce per non parlare mai con nessuno , bado io a me stessa anzi

ci badiamo noi.

Fingere è l’unica cosa che so fare meglio , nessuno sa , nessuno sente , il vuoto che ho dentro , la solitudine costante che mi accompagna , lo sguardo malinconico che mi caratterizza da sempre , ma fingo solo che sia sinonimo di intelligenza .

Indosso una maschera e non ho problemi a dirlo o come in questo caso a pensarlo con te è la cosa piu’ giusta da fare , nessuno resisterebbe , come ben sai

nel vuoto che ho dentro , nella solitudine fatta di sto bene , non importa , nelle crepe dell’anima ormai vuota .

Secca , arida , non importa Amir va bene cosi!

Allora andiamo?

Pensi mentre mi sto finendo di cambiare , ti guardo e sfodero il mio sorriso migliore rispondendoti , certo andiamo a casa ?

Ci guardiamo un film, mangiamo schifezze e giuro di togliere la maschera almeno con te , giuro di essere me stessa sempre , almeno con te .

Sento il tuo braccio cingermi il collo , tu cosi alto e cosi avvolgente , mi sfiori il viso ancora truccato , mi scosti i capelli ,e mi sussurri

“sei bellissima quando sorridi dovresti farlo piu’ spesso e fingere meno”

Ti guardo sbalordita , non mi hai mai detto una cosa con tanta enfasi , con un timbro di voce cosi profondo ,  da rimbombare nella mia testa , far

vibrare le finestre e farmi sentire cosi leggera.

Oggi è un giorno normale , di una ragazza normale che finge un sorriso per non mostrare la solitudine che ha dentro.


la conoscenza




38 risposte a “Diario di una quarantenne in quarantena”

  1. I was suggested this website by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my problem. You are amazing! Thanks!

  2. I have been absent for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this web site. Thank you, I will try and check back more frequently. How frequently you update your website?

  3. Hiya very nice web site!! Man .. Excellent .. Wonderful .. I will bookmark your site and take the feeds also…I am glad to seek out a lot of helpful info here within the publish, we’d like develop more techniques in this regard, thanks for sharing.

  4. Helpful information. Fortunate me I found your website by chance, and I am surprised why this accident didn’t took place in advance! I bookmarked it.

  5. I went over this website and I think you have a lot of superb information, saved to bookmarks (:.

  6. I liked as much as you will receive performed proper here. The caricature is tasteful, your authored material stylish. however, you command get bought an edginess over that you wish be handing over the following. in poor health indisputably come further in the past again since precisely the same nearly very regularly within case you protect this increase.

  7. I would like to thnkx for the efforts you have put in writing this blog. I am hoping the same high-grade blog post from you in the upcoming as well. In fact your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own blog now. Really the blogging is spreading its wings quickly. Your write up is a good example of it.

  8. Thankyou for this fantastic post, I am glad I detected this website on yahoo.

  9. I love the efforts you have put in this, regards for all the great content.

  10. fantastic publish, very informative. I’m wondering why the opposite specialists of this sector don’t realize this. You should continue your writing. I’m confident, you have a huge readers’ base already!

  11. Awsome article and straight to the point. I am not sure if this is really the best place to ask but do you guys have any ideea where to hire some professional writers? Thx 🙂

  12. Outstanding post, you have pointed out some superb details , I too believe this s a very fantastic website.

  13. I was wondering if you ever thought of changing the structure of your website? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or 2 pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?

  14. Just want to say your article is as astonishing. The clarity in your post is just spectacular and i can assume you’re an expert on this subject. Well with your permission allow me to grab your RSS feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the gratifying work.

  15. Hello there, just turned into aware of your weblog thru Google, and found that it’s really informative. I am gonna be careful for brussels. I will appreciate if you happen to continue this in future. A lot of other people can be benefited out of your writing. Cheers!

  16. Thanks for one’s marvelous posting! I actually enjoyed reading it, you may be a great author.I will be sure to bookmark your blog and definitely will come back in the future. I want to encourage you to continue your great posts, have a nice evening!

  17. Hello.This article was really fascinating, particularly since I was investigating for thoughts on this topic last week.

  18. Hey there! I’ve been following your website for a long time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Huffman Tx! Just wanted to mention keep up the fantastic work!

  19. I admire your work, regards for all the great blog posts.

  20. I conceive this website contains some very excellent information for everyone :D. “America is not merely a nation but a nation of nations.” by Lyndon B. Johnson.

  21. I am pleased that I found this web blog, precisely the right information that I was looking for! .

  22. You are my intake, I possess few blogs and infrequently run out from to brand.

  23. You must take part in a contest for among the best blogs on the web. I’ll recommend this website!

  24. Thanks , I’ve recently been searching for information approximately this topic for a long time and yours is the greatest I’ve found out till now. But, what in regards to the conclusion? Are you certain in regards to the supply?

  25. I’d have to examine with you here. Which is not one thing I usually do! I take pleasure in reading a post that may make folks think. Additionally, thanks for permitting me to comment!

  26. Hello. splendid job. I did not imagine this. This is a remarkable story. Thanks!

  27. Hello! Would you mind if I share your blog with my twitter group? There’s a lot of folks that I think would really appreciate your content. Please let me know. Thanks

  28. An impressive share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing a little analysis on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast because I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If possible, as you become expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more details? It is highly helpful for me. Big thumb up for this blog post!

  29. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You obviously know what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?

  30. I’ve been browsing on-line greater than 3 hours as of late, but I by no means found any fascinating article like yours. It is lovely worth enough for me. Personally, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the web can be a lot more useful than ever before. “Perfection of moral virtue does not wholly take away the passions, but regulates them.” by Saint Thomas Aquinas.

  31. Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out a lot. I hope to give something back and help others like you helped me.

  32. I got what you intend, thankyou for posting.Woh I am glad to find this website through google. “Delay is preferable to error.” by Thomas Jefferson.

  33. I just wanted to write down a small comment to be able to thank you for the magnificent strategies you are placing at this website. My time-consuming internet investigation has at the end of the day been honored with really good strategies to share with my great friends. I ‘d point out that most of us website visitors actually are undoubtedly endowed to dwell in a magnificent network with so many outstanding people with helpful tips. I feel pretty lucky to have used your entire site and look forward to some more fabulous moments reading here. Thanks a lot once again for a lot of things.

  34. I conceive you have remarked some very interesting details , appreciate it for the post.

  35. Good V I should certainly pronounce, impressed with your site. I had no trouble navigating through all tabs as well as related info ended up being truly easy to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it in the least. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or anything, website theme . a tones way for your customer to communicate. Nice task..

  36. I have read several excellent stuff here. Certainly worth bookmarking for revisiting. I surprise how so much attempt you place to make this kind of fantastic informative web site.

  37. I’m also writing to make you be aware of what a terrific encounter my wife’s daughter undergone using your site. She came to understand some things, which include what it is like to possess an excellent helping character to have other folks without problems know precisely several tortuous topics. You actually surpassed my expected results. Many thanks for coming up with those warm and friendly, dependable, informative not to mention unique thoughts on the topic to Evelyn.

Lascia un commento