Diario di una quarantenne in quarantena

La conoscenza

muoviamoci

( giorno 230 dal tuo ritorno)

Muoviamoci

Muoviamoci , ti urlo uscendo dal bagno , vestita di tutto punto , truccata con quella gonna in tulle nero la canotta bianca e le mie scarpe nuove con il tacco.

Arrivo in camera e tu mi guardi sussulti ed affermi ” ma stai benissimo sei splendida!”

Sorrido , poi ti guardo e ripeto

se hai intenzione di venire con me questa sera devi rimanere in silenzio , guardare solo non parlare non voglio sembrare una matta che parla da sola o si volta per risponderti.

Sei quasi sbalordito dal mio invito , ma capisco che ne  sei felice  ma muoviamoci .

Usciamo andiamo in un nuovo louge bar all’aperto qualche drink , nulla di piu’ è un uscita con gli amici di sempre , mentre passeggiamo , incontro lui

che non vedevo da tanto , ci salutiamo cosi come due persone  civili , mentre continuo la mia passeggiata ti avvicini e mi sussurri

” non voltarti ti sta guardando”

Ti guardo ma non rispondo ovviamente ti avevo avvertito , ma tu fai sempre l’opposto di cio’ che dico, sorrido , ma ti ignoro.

La serata continua , poi torniamo a casa , mentre fumo prendo il cellulare , sono in tshirt e tu seduto sul letto , ti chiamo dicendo guarda ha mandato un messaggio ,

mentre ti cedo il cellulare per farti leggere …

Tu amir che fai?

Rispondi per me accettando quell’invito a cui io non avrei mai risposto, mi infurio e ti grido contro come sempre ,

ma tu con la tua estrema calma finisci per dirmi , ne hai bisogno esci e vai non rompere!

O dio è la prima volta che ti sento imprecare , tu cosi calmo nei miei confronti anche quando io faccio l’isterica finisci per darmi ordini e soprattutto imprecare ,

ma bravo noto che ti sto insegnando qualcosa.

Il giorno dopo esco , senza voglia ma ormai è fatta , ci sediamo prendiamo un caffe’ lo straniero inizia a parlare , fin quando finisce per raccontarmi di questa storia ,

con una persona con la quale

si sentiva sbagliato , nel posto sbagliato al momento sbagliato , per la serie ” cosa ci faccio io qui con lei”

mi pervade un brivido alla schiena , anche io mi sono sentita cosi per molto tempo strano vero?

alcune sensazioni non sono solo io a provarle , non sono l’unica a sentirmi sbagliata.

Da qui che è iniziata l’amicizia con lo straniero , lui ci provava con me io non sentivo nulla per lui , nulla che non fosse solo amicizia, una bella e sana amicizia

forse non era il momento giusto ma è stato meglio cosi un amicizia è la cosa migliore .

Fatta di risate , pianti , si lui mi ha sentito singhiozzare mentre gli altri mi chiedevano scusa al momento sbagliato

dopo aver mandato in frantumi il mio cuore.

Gli ho mantenuto la fronte quando dava di stomaco dopo le nostre sbronze colossali , abbiamo scherzato sul mio fisico ,

sulle cose che ci accadevano ,

abbiamo preso in giro Big , il suo lavoro la sua vita , i nostri nomignoli che non posso ripetere .

Grazie Amir hai fatto entrare con quel messaggio , nella mia vita una persona speciale , una persona razionale , io invece cosi impulsiva , facciamo la coppia di amici perfetta.

Grazie a te straniero per esserci sempre , nonostante tutto mi accarezzi l’anima , mi bacchetti sempre , ti sento ripetere amica non potrei mai averne una migliore di te ,

e si con queste parole mi fai sentire migliore.

Almeno tu non mi fai sentire sbagliata…

( dedicato allo straniero che fa arte della mia vita e che senza non avrebbe poi tutto questo senso)

 

perdonami è tutto cio’ che so dire

 

 

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