Diario di una quarantenne in ormai fase 3 di quarantena

Senza voce

sta andando tutto a rotoli

( giorno 130 dal tuo ritorno)

Sta andando tutto a rotoli

Sta andando tutto a rotoli, oggi non ho voce

ed i mie pensieri corrono troppo veloci , mentre tu cerchi di ricorrerli uno ad uno ,

ma non ci riesci.

Amir fermati non ho voce oggi , sta andando tutto a rotoli, ed io non riesco ad afferrare nulla.

Tutto degenera velocemente , colpa del mio cuore malato una conseguenza una delle tante .

Ma come diciamo noi ” non importa non fa nulla!” .

Quante volte lo abbiamo detto?

Non importa quando invece importava , quando invece era meglio parlare piu’ tosto che stare in silenzio , tutto va troppo veloce ed io non riesco a tenerlo fermo , non ci riesco.

Cerco affannosamente di fermarlo di capire e poi nulla , tu mi fermi mi guardi per cercare di capire di parlarmi ma oggi neanche tu ci riesci , stiamo affondando .

La barca che affonda non puo’ essere liberata giusto? , la ragazza dal cuore puro, che parla poco , ma che sorride a tutti , con gli occhi, sta affondando e non riesce a risalire , cerca di respirare ma non ce la fa.

Mi blocchi per un braccio

mentre cerco di capire , camminando affannosamente in cucina ,

mi fermi mi fai sedere ,

pensi ” abbiamo bisogno di bere qualcosa che dici”

ti guardo , accenno con la testa , apriamo quella bottiglia che era rimasta li prima della pandemia , un sorso dopo l’altro

cercando di ritornare lucidi.

I pensieri si calmano ma il nodo alla gola rimane , cerco di mettere un pensiero in fila uno dopo l’altro , le persone , i sorrisi ,

le risate , quelle persone che mi hanno illuso , che sia stato un giorno o un anno poco importa,

hanno ferito anche se io non me ne rendevo conto ,

feriscono un anima cosi fragile e cosi forte allo stesso tempo .

Quella che non chiede mai aiuto per paura di disturbare , quella che ha pensato mille volte ce la faccio da sola , anche senza di te .

Mi fissi con occhi penetranti cerchi di calmarmi , di farmi sentire che andra’ tutto bene , infondo ti sei sentita sempre troppo sbagliata quando non lo eri .

Inadeguata , chiusa in te stessa sempre al momento sbagliato nel posto giusto forse ma pur sempre nel momento sbagliato.

Accendo una sigaretta con gli occhi lucidi e ti guardo , non so che dire anche oggi non so che dire , la notte e’ cosi sempre troppo scura e sempre troppo lunga ,

anche per me , guerriera troppo stanca della vita che va a rotoli.

pesare il cuore






43 risposte a “Diario di una quarantenne in ormai fase 3 di quarantena”

  1. Some genuinely nice and utilitarian information on this web site, too I think the pattern has got fantastic features.

  2. I am typically to running a blog and i really respect your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I’m going to bookmark your website and preserve checking for brand spanking new information.

  3. Thank you for sharing superb informations. Your site is very cool. I am impressed by the details that you have on this blog. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for extra articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found simply the info I already searched all over the place and just could not come across. What a great website.

  4. When I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Thanks!

  5. I was just looking for this info for some time. After 6 hours of continuous Googleing, finally I got it in your site. I wonder what’s the lack of Google strategy that don’t rank this type of informative sites in top of the list. Usually the top websites are full of garbage.

  6. I do agree with all of the ideas you have presented in your post. They are really convincing and will certainly work. Still, the posts are very short for starters. Could you please extend them a bit from next time? Thanks for the post.

  7. Awsome website! I am loving it!! Will be back later to read some more. I am bookmarking your feeds also

  8. There is noticeably a bundle to know about this. I assume you made certain nice points in features also.

  9. I would like to express appreciation to the writer just for rescuing me from this type of issue. Just after browsing through the the net and getting tips that were not beneficial, I was thinking my entire life was well over. Existing without the presence of approaches to the difficulties you’ve resolved all through your main write-up is a serious case, as well as the ones that would have in a negative way affected my entire career if I hadn’t come across your site. Your actual knowledge and kindness in playing with the whole lot was very helpful. I’m not sure what I would have done if I had not come across such a thing like this. I am able to at this time look ahead to my future. Thanks for your time very much for your specialized and result oriented guide. I won’t think twice to endorse your web blog to anyone who needs direction on this subject matter.

  10. Super-Duper site! I am loving it!! Will be back later to read some more. I am bookmarking your feeds also

  11. My brother suggested I would possibly like this blog. He was entirely right. This post truly made my day. You can not imagine simply how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

  12. Aw, this was a really nice post. In idea I wish to put in writing like this additionally – taking time and precise effort to make an excellent article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and on no account seem to get one thing done.

  13. Currently it seems like BlogEngine is the top blogging platform out there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

  14. I like the valuable info you supply for your articles. I’ll bookmark your blog and test once more right here regularly. I am slightly certain I’ll learn plenty of new stuff right here! Best of luck for the following!

  15. Wow! Thank you! I permanently needed to write on my site something like that. Can I take a part of your post to my website?

  16. Thank you for some other informative blog. Where else may just I get that type of info written in such an ideal approach? I have a challenge that I am simply now operating on, and I have been on the glance out for such info.

  17. Appreciate it for this post, I am a big big fan of this web site would like to go along updated.

  18. Hello! I’ve been following your blog for a long time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Kingwood Texas! Just wanted to mention keep up the good work!

  19. Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! However, how can we communicate?

  20. Hello! Would you mind if I share your blog with my myspace group? There’s a lot of people that I think would really enjoy your content. Please let me know. Many thanks

  21. Please let me know if you’re looking for a article writer for your site. You have some really good posts and I think I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d absolutely love to write some material for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please blast me an email if interested. Cheers!

  22. F*ckin’ amazing things here. I am very glad to see your post. Thanks a lot and i am taking a look forward to touch you. Will you please drop me a mail?

  23. fantastic points altogether, you simply gained a new reader. What would you suggest about your post that you made some days ago? Any positive?

  24. What i do not realize is actually how you’re not really much more well-liked than you might be now. You are so intelligent. You realize thus significantly relating to this subject, made me personally consider it from a lot of varied angles. Its like women and men aren’t fascinated unless it is one thing to do with Lady gaga! Your own stuffs great. Always maintain it up!

Lascia un commento