Diario di una quarantenne in quarantena

Gli occhi

il complimento inaspettato

(giorno 85 dal tuo ritorno)

Il complimento inaspettato

Il complimento inaspettato , torno a casa quasi di fretta perche’ stranamente oggi volevo vederti e raccontarti tutto ,

quello che mi è capitato oggi condividere con te e magari dirti ,  dai contravveniamo alle regole beviamoci una birra e festeggiamo.

Oggi ho incontrato una persona , sai non la vedevo da parecchi mesi , ci siamo fermate al nostro solito bar , ci siamo sedute abbiamo bevuto un caffe’ ,

sai le solite chiacchiere fin quando lei non mi stupito.

Mi guarda e mi dice , ti trovo bene sai , un po’ smagrita ma bene , sei bella , sei diversa , anche gli occhi sono diversi non sono piu’ tristi, non piu’ come 6 mesi fa circa.

La guardo sbalordita , mi accendo una sigaretta .

Abbozzo un sorriso mentre abbasso gli occhi e lo sguardo  dentro di me sorrido anzi sono quasi felice.

Sto guarendo ? Amir sto guarendo , almeno da fuori è questo quello che si vede.

Sai la sofferenza è come una brutta cicatrice , hai presente quella di un operazione ,

all’esterno guarisce, tutti la guardano guarire quasi scomparire e risanarsi ,

ma all’interno si dentro

lei ci mette piu’ tempo , come si dice sara’ l’umidita’, sara’ che è nascosta ma lei cicatrizza piu’ lentamente rispetto

a quella che si vede da fuori.

Cosi sto guarendo agli occhi degli altri esternamente il mio sguardo non è piu’ triste , non piu’ malinconico del solito almeno , ma sto guarendo , possono continuare a fingere che tutto vada bene .

All’interno bhe per quello ci vuole tempo , quella come tante altre cicatrici non si sanano facilmente , non guariscono in soli 6 mesi , forse ci mettera’ tutta una vita per guarire

ma almeno nessuna la nota , nessuno la puo’ toccare.

Anzi lascero’ che solo tu possa toccarla , mentre sto dormendo , mentre dormo e tu mi sfiori , con le tue dita delicate ed affusolate , cosi lentamente senza che io quasi me ne accorga , sentiro’ solo il brivido che mi pervade li in quel unico punto, sorridendo nel sonno e sapendo che sei tu a toccarmi.

Ma lo lascero’ fare solo a te tu che fai parte di me ,di ogni mio singolo respiro , tu che sei tornato nonostante tutto ,

tu che sei qui e vai oltre il mio brutto carattere , tu che senti ogni mio respiro ed asciughi ogni mia lacrima anche quando mi volto per non fartele vedere.

Tu sei qui e che dici adesso vogliamo infrangere la regola e berci una birra per festeggiare che dici?

cosa facciamo questa sera?

Comments

comments

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139 risposte a “Diario di una quarantenne in quarantena”

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