La canzone che non ascoltavo

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la canzone che non ascoltavo

La canzone che non ascoltavo

La canzone che non ascoltavo , era circa un anno che evitavo di ascoltarla,

lo sai è passata l’altra sera alla radio ed io invece di cambiare come facevo da tempo , ho lasciato che lei

ascoltasse me , ed io ascoltassi lei.

Ci ho messo tempo e pure ci sono riuscita strano vero ?

avevo ripromesso a me stessa di non farmela scivolare tra le dita ,

ma di tenerla cosi stretta

da annientarla.

Ora invece lei passa ed io non ho emozioni , non mi passa altro che una semplice immagine in testa ,

tu che mi chiamavi e la canzone che passava in sottofondo ,

non ho emozioni da un po’ e anche questa volta non ne ho avute , solo

la necessita’ di scriverlo per poter non dimenticare ,

per cercare di scavare ancora dentro me , cercando quella sola emozione che potesse

farmi sentire nuovamente guarita ed in vece nulla.

Ma se non ne sentissi piu’ , insomma questo stato di ” anaffettiva” piu’ che diventare una forma di auto protezione

diventasse la vera e nuova me ?

Ci avete mai pensato , nascondiamo i sentimenti , non li diciamo , non li dimostriamo per proteggerci

e poi diventano il nostro modo d’essere , quello che piu’ odiamo finiamo inevitabilmente per diventarlo.

Potrebbe essere giusto oppure no , la paura ti fotte , ma non avere emozioni non è peggio?

Se lo fai per te stessa e poi finisci per starci dentro tutta, senza via d’uscita.

Oggi ho ascoltato quella canzone e non ho sentito nulla come succede ormai da tempo,

mi odierai per questo?

Non credo penso che tu abbia fatto la stessa cosa , ci siamo fatti lasciare scivolare la sabbia dalla mano , senza guardare quello che rimaneva sul palmo.

Cosi come stare in una stanza con un cielo blu, che guardi ma non riconosci.

Questa notte ho dormito come sempre anche se sono cinica , lo sono diventata

e non per causa tua ma per causa della vita.

Sai non è poi cosi male qui su’

non si sta cosi male come pensavo , anzi

non riesco a guardare oltre la siepe , ma almeno posso immaginare cosa c’è al di la di essa.

Ricordi strani

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